I was sent this photo, along with a few others of this mare and foal. Why do we find this so adorable? I think it is because this is a great representation of a human characteristic. We can replace a Mom and baby in this photo rather easily. But to see a horse and her baby foal in such a position is surprising and inspiring. It touches a spot in our hearts that makes us think that, perhaps, animals have some of those characteristics of human beings that are good and pure and true. No one can argue with or condemn a mother's protectiveness towards her baby, or a baby's dependence on his or her mom. It is just as it should be.
I know people who like animals more than people. I can understand this. Animals do not talk back. They are adoring, committed and loyal. I recently read a story about a boy whose old dog had to be euthanized. When his parents and vet were talking about why animals lived a much shorter lifespan, the little boy answered it well. "You know how people spend their lives learning how to get along and how to love people? Well, dogs already know that stuff, so they don't have to live as long."
The answer is a bit more complex, I maintain. How do we treat our animals? If you are reading this blog, you treat your animal with patience, care and love. How do they respond? The way the people in our lives would respond if we treated all of them with that same patience. care and love. It gets down to who will act first?
Do a psychology experiment: Act first. Treat the people in your life with the same patience, care and love you give to that beloved pet. Don't give up until you have given this experiment at least one month. We'll check back to find out the results...
Friday, February 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
MENTAL HEALTH
Have you noticed that there are a lot of cross-overs between person mental health and animal mental health?
I was thinking about it this weekend while we were Beagle sitting for Molly. She was a busy, busy Beagle doing what Beagles do best- sniffing, hunting and more sniffing. She has thousands more receptors for scent than people do. So, while we might read a book, watch a movie, or do a crossword puzzle to keep our minds sharp, she sniffs.
Augie, our sweet Labradoodle, stays sharp by playing "fetch" (retrieving) the tennis ball. She can literally play that game for HOURS! She won't eat on Saturday or Sunday morning because she has to be ready to play. She only eats dinner. At that point, she is exhausted (as is my husband, her play partner) and in need of nourishment.
AH HA! The thing that keeps our dogs engaged and mentally healthy is doing the thing they were born to do. In the case of a hound dog, it is sniffing. In the case of a retriever, it is retrieving. Sheepdogs want to herd, and so it goes.
Cats like birdwatching, mouse hunting and sleeping in the sunshine. Horses like running and grazing in a field. If they are stuck inside a stall for too long a time, they can become dull witted or disengaged. Or, sometimes worse: nasty and irritable.
The best way to ensure mental health for our furry friends is to allow them to be who they were meant to be. Mental health is important to physical health.
So, what were you meant to be?
I was thinking about it this weekend while we were Beagle sitting for Molly. She was a busy, busy Beagle doing what Beagles do best- sniffing, hunting and more sniffing. She has thousands more receptors for scent than people do. So, while we might read a book, watch a movie, or do a crossword puzzle to keep our minds sharp, she sniffs.
Augie, our sweet Labradoodle, stays sharp by playing "fetch" (retrieving) the tennis ball. She can literally play that game for HOURS! She won't eat on Saturday or Sunday morning because she has to be ready to play. She only eats dinner. At that point, she is exhausted (as is my husband, her play partner) and in need of nourishment.
AH HA! The thing that keeps our dogs engaged and mentally healthy is doing the thing they were born to do. In the case of a hound dog, it is sniffing. In the case of a retriever, it is retrieving. Sheepdogs want to herd, and so it goes.
Cats like birdwatching, mouse hunting and sleeping in the sunshine. Horses like running and grazing in a field. If they are stuck inside a stall for too long a time, they can become dull witted or disengaged. Or, sometimes worse: nasty and irritable.
The best way to ensure mental health for our furry friends is to allow them to be who they were meant to be. Mental health is important to physical health.
So, what were you meant to be?
Thursday, February 18, 2010
NEW YEAR'S REVOLUTION
This is more of an issue for pet lovers (including ME) than for their pets. It is far, far easier for me to lose a few pounds than to put my adorable cat, or dog, or horse on a diet.
As you can observe, Bubba is a big boy. We guess-timate (don't want to actually KNOW) that he must weigh in the mid-teens. Of course, we reason, he is very tall. And long, he is very long. Perhaps I should be more worried about how wide he is. I fear bringing him in to the vet. I know what he will say. I will get the verbal smack-down. He will tell me of how I am damaging Bubbie's life. Risking all kinds of problems. I will feel guilty and like a bad pet Mom. So what is my problem?
This lack of discipline is resting squarely on my shoulders. Bubba is so sweet, so cuddly, so persistent and so relentless in his pursuit of his favorite food, raw liver, that I eventually cave in. So, while there are very few good cat trainers, there is one VERY EFFECTIVE human trainer- Bubba. He has me trained to provide that which he craves when he craves it.
So the question is: Why is it so hard to put the pet on a diet? For me, it is a "quality of life" thing. I figure, all he really cares about is his food and his person petting him, and food (mentioned twice for a reason).
Perhaps I am living vicariously through him? I can't eat whatever I want, so maybe I am living "la Vida loco" through him.
Maybe my own discipline has left me none for the pets? This probably isn't true, as I was able to be disciplined with my kids.
Perhaps I am practicing up for Grand kids? I don't really want to be one of those Grandmas that completely ignores my own kids' wishes about what their kids eat or do. I want to be a cooperative and respectful Nana.
Well, whatever the reason, I am turning over a new leaf. Bubba is officially on a diet. We will help each other be more disciplined. I will think of his health first before looking into those lovely green eyes. I will weigh him and keep weighing him until he is at a reasonable weight. He is going to eat less and fewer times (after all, he can't open the fridge himself). He will "adapt and survive" and so will I. Summer is coming and he can watch birds out of the window. Maybe I'll get him some more catnip. He''l think of something else to do besides EATING.
I'll keep you posted- it takes a long, long time to lose weight. But the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Or one less bite, depending on your point of view.
As you can observe, Bubba is a big boy. We guess-timate (don't want to actually KNOW) that he must weigh in the mid-teens. Of course, we reason, he is very tall. And long, he is very long. Perhaps I should be more worried about how wide he is. I fear bringing him in to the vet. I know what he will say. I will get the verbal smack-down. He will tell me of how I am damaging Bubbie's life. Risking all kinds of problems. I will feel guilty and like a bad pet Mom. So what is my problem?
This lack of discipline is resting squarely on my shoulders. Bubba is so sweet, so cuddly, so persistent and so relentless in his pursuit of his favorite food, raw liver, that I eventually cave in. So, while there are very few good cat trainers, there is one VERY EFFECTIVE human trainer- Bubba. He has me trained to provide that which he craves when he craves it.
So the question is: Why is it so hard to put the pet on a diet? For me, it is a "quality of life" thing. I figure, all he really cares about is his food and his person petting him, and food (mentioned twice for a reason).
Perhaps I am living vicariously through him? I can't eat whatever I want, so maybe I am living "la Vida loco" through him.
Maybe my own discipline has left me none for the pets? This probably isn't true, as I was able to be disciplined with my kids.
Perhaps I am practicing up for Grand kids? I don't really want to be one of those Grandmas that completely ignores my own kids' wishes about what their kids eat or do. I want to be a cooperative and respectful Nana.
Well, whatever the reason, I am turning over a new leaf. Bubba is officially on a diet. We will help each other be more disciplined. I will think of his health first before looking into those lovely green eyes. I will weigh him and keep weighing him until he is at a reasonable weight. He is going to eat less and fewer times (after all, he can't open the fridge himself). He will "adapt and survive" and so will I. Summer is coming and he can watch birds out of the window. Maybe I'll get him some more catnip. He''l think of something else to do besides EATING.
I'll keep you posted- it takes a long, long time to lose weight. But the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Or one less bite, depending on your point of view.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
ON DEATH AND DYING
As a therapist, I find myself speaking with and listening to many people about death. It is one reason why people come to a therapist, and do so willingly, without feeling somehow inadequate for needing to speak to a therapist. Of course, it is one of the most difficult things we all have to face- our own death or that of a loved one. I am sorry to report that both situations are inevitable.
I am writing this so we can learn some lessons about death. It took me a few says to write this because I couldn't decide which photo of which animal I would use. (this is a story that could have an entire photo album to go with it). I have learned something valuable, no CRITICAL for my own growth and prosperity from each of my beloved animals who I consider myself blessed to have been able to spend some or most of their lives with.
This picture is one of Lady. She was a retiree of an Equine Assisted Therapy organization. When she came to us, after a long and distinguished career helping young and old alike to gain physical and mental benefit, she was in her late 20's. Because horses live to an average age of 23, she was "on borrowed time." Most of her life with us was spent in the pasture with her horse friends. Occasionally, she went on a family trail ride with me, my daughter (both of us riders) and my husband and son (neither of whom were riders, but they accomodated our whim). She was taken over by my son, probably only 7 or so, lightweight and not likely to ask much of her. She took good care of him during our quiet rides.
One day when I went out to the barn to do my evening feeding, she was lying in the paddock. When I went out to her, she didn't respond. Her eyes had glazed over and I could tell she was ready to die. This is an interesting phenominon. Animals give up when they are ready to die. I have had horses, dogs and cats indicate to me when they are just done with the pain, medical treatment, or something else they don't want to deal with any more. She had some pain, but mostly, I believe, she had just paid her dues long enough. Hers was not an easy life while she worked. She had given so much to those many special needs students that, perhaps, she was just done.
I summoned my family out to help. My son, feeling powerless, began to work diligently to keep every fly off of her body while she lay there. Tiny tears fell on her as he whispered "Don't die. Don't die." All of a sudden, out of nowhere, her visible eye came alert. Perhaps she had forgotten about her new boy that she needed to teach about horses? She gave a big sigh and with a monumental effort, hauled herself up to her feet.
We had another 4 years with her until she moved to that "pasture in the sky". She had done her work. My beloved horse, Shortcut, lived another 3 years after he was sure to die. He was blind and his eyes hurt him. But he hung in there for me. He was 33 years old. My adored cat, Buster, was only 6, but lived an extra 9 months just for me, I am quite certain. I must address how the death of a friend animal affects the animals remaining. We can all learn something from these guys who we share our lives with.
So, what did I learn? I learned that we need a good REASON to live. My animals have overcome old age, pain and illness to live longer for a reason (in Lady's case, in the person of my young son). That selflessness leads to understanding and wisdom that can't be attained any other way. So, I made it a personal goal to find my reason and to be a reason for others.
Thanks, Lady!
I am writing this so we can learn some lessons about death. It took me a few says to write this because I couldn't decide which photo of which animal I would use. (this is a story that could have an entire photo album to go with it). I have learned something valuable, no CRITICAL for my own growth and prosperity from each of my beloved animals who I consider myself blessed to have been able to spend some or most of their lives with.
This picture is one of Lady. She was a retiree of an Equine Assisted Therapy organization. When she came to us, after a long and distinguished career helping young and old alike to gain physical and mental benefit, she was in her late 20's. Because horses live to an average age of 23, she was "on borrowed time." Most of her life with us was spent in the pasture with her horse friends. Occasionally, she went on a family trail ride with me, my daughter (both of us riders) and my husband and son (neither of whom were riders, but they accomodated our whim). She was taken over by my son, probably only 7 or so, lightweight and not likely to ask much of her. She took good care of him during our quiet rides.
One day when I went out to the barn to do my evening feeding, she was lying in the paddock. When I went out to her, she didn't respond. Her eyes had glazed over and I could tell she was ready to die. This is an interesting phenominon. Animals give up when they are ready to die. I have had horses, dogs and cats indicate to me when they are just done with the pain, medical treatment, or something else they don't want to deal with any more. She had some pain, but mostly, I believe, she had just paid her dues long enough. Hers was not an easy life while she worked. She had given so much to those many special needs students that, perhaps, she was just done.
I summoned my family out to help. My son, feeling powerless, began to work diligently to keep every fly off of her body while she lay there. Tiny tears fell on her as he whispered "Don't die. Don't die." All of a sudden, out of nowhere, her visible eye came alert. Perhaps she had forgotten about her new boy that she needed to teach about horses? She gave a big sigh and with a monumental effort, hauled herself up to her feet.
We had another 4 years with her until she moved to that "pasture in the sky". She had done her work. My beloved horse, Shortcut, lived another 3 years after he was sure to die. He was blind and his eyes hurt him. But he hung in there for me. He was 33 years old. My adored cat, Buster, was only 6, but lived an extra 9 months just for me, I am quite certain. I must address how the death of a friend animal affects the animals remaining. We can all learn something from these guys who we share our lives with.
So, what did I learn? I learned that we need a good REASON to live. My animals have overcome old age, pain and illness to live longer for a reason (in Lady's case, in the person of my young son). That selflessness leads to understanding and wisdom that can't be attained any other way. So, I made it a personal goal to find my reason and to be a reason for others.
Thanks, Lady!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
OLD FRIENDS
Augie, Eddy and I were out on our daily walk when we happened upon our neighbor. She was riding her older horse, one that I thought had been retired in favor of her new, younger horse.
"Out with the older guy today, huh?" I said.
"I don't have Ben any more. We sent him back to the people we bought him from," she said, a sad look creeping over her face.
"Why?" I asked the obvious question. She went on to describe a thing that is remarkably common in horses and is somewhat common in people. It is called Agoraphobia, specifically with separation anxiety. It is a form of Panic Disorder. Horse people call it "herd-bound" or "barn sour" but let's break it down:
In human therapy, we can ask the person what they feel. They describe palpitations, shortness of breath, feelings of light headedness, sweating and chills or hot flashes. The person can describe fear bordering on terror (panic) and a feeling of being out of control. Why do we think that we can "train" this out of a horse? Most people use the exposure therapy technique- just doing it over and over. Eventually that can work, to a degree. But I don't think it addresses what is going on.
The horse she had came from a fair distance away- about an 8-hour trailer ride. He was a young horse, three years old. He was inexperienced and insecure. When he came to his new home, there was only one other horse there. Because horses are herd animals, their security and safety come from the "herd" even if the herd is only 1 horse. She expected to be able to ride him out on the trails, alone, right away. This violated Sandy's #1 rule: Build rapport/trust with your new animal BEFORE you do anything else. This is true for dogs, cats, horses, you name it.
My sweet little Fjord filly, Bergie (my first ride story to come soon) first lived in an area where she could see the other horses, but was not in with them. I was the one who handled her, gave her treats, brushed her, everything good. We went on long walks together so she could learn to trust ME. Now she spends her days with the other 2 horses, but she knows I am the Herd Master. She respects (not fears) me and knows that I am the source for all things good.
This concept is the "alpha animal" rule. All animals want to be in the good graces of the alpha person/animal. They know their survival depends on trusting this entity. When we finally do go out for a ride on the trails, she will rely completely on me and my judgment. This is the way it should be. Animals in fear are animals who do not trust their person to really be in charge.
I'm sorry about the neighbor and her horse. It must have been scary for both of them. I wish I could have helped, but didn't learn of this until it was too late.
Keep in mind about the symptoms instead of just jumping to the usual diagnoisis. All of you can do this kind of therapy. Give it a try!
"Out with the older guy today, huh?" I said.
"I don't have Ben any more. We sent him back to the people we bought him from," she said, a sad look creeping over her face.
"Why?" I asked the obvious question. She went on to describe a thing that is remarkably common in horses and is somewhat common in people. It is called Agoraphobia, specifically with separation anxiety. It is a form of Panic Disorder. Horse people call it "herd-bound" or "barn sour" but let's break it down:
In human therapy, we can ask the person what they feel. They describe palpitations, shortness of breath, feelings of light headedness, sweating and chills or hot flashes. The person can describe fear bordering on terror (panic) and a feeling of being out of control. Why do we think that we can "train" this out of a horse? Most people use the exposure therapy technique- just doing it over and over. Eventually that can work, to a degree. But I don't think it addresses what is going on.
The horse she had came from a fair distance away- about an 8-hour trailer ride. He was a young horse, three years old. He was inexperienced and insecure. When he came to his new home, there was only one other horse there. Because horses are herd animals, their security and safety come from the "herd" even if the herd is only 1 horse. She expected to be able to ride him out on the trails, alone, right away. This violated Sandy's #1 rule: Build rapport/trust with your new animal BEFORE you do anything else. This is true for dogs, cats, horses, you name it.
My sweet little Fjord filly, Bergie (my first ride story to come soon) first lived in an area where she could see the other horses, but was not in with them. I was the one who handled her, gave her treats, brushed her, everything good. We went on long walks together so she could learn to trust ME. Now she spends her days with the other 2 horses, but she knows I am the Herd Master. She respects (not fears) me and knows that I am the source for all things good.
This concept is the "alpha animal" rule. All animals want to be in the good graces of the alpha person/animal. They know their survival depends on trusting this entity. When we finally do go out for a ride on the trails, she will rely completely on me and my judgment. This is the way it should be. Animals in fear are animals who do not trust their person to really be in charge.
I'm sorry about the neighbor and her horse. It must have been scary for both of them. I wish I could have helped, but didn't learn of this until it was too late.
Keep in mind about the symptoms instead of just jumping to the usual diagnoisis. All of you can do this kind of therapy. Give it a try!
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