ON DEATH AND DYING

As a therapist, I find myself speaking with and listening to many people about death. It is one reason why people come to a therapist, and do so willingly, without feeling somehow inadequate for needing to speak to a therapist. Of course, it is one of the most difficult things we all have to face- our own death or that of a loved one. I am sorry to report that both situations are inevitable.



I am writing this so we can learn some lessons about death. It took me a few says to write this because I couldn't decide which photo of which animal I would use. (this is a story that could have an entire photo album to go with it). I have learned something valuable, no CRITICAL for my own growth and prosperity from each of my beloved animals who I consider myself blessed to have been able to spend some or most of their lives with.



This picture is one of Lady. She was a retiree of an Equine Assisted Therapy organization. When she came to us, after a long and distinguished career helping young and old alike to gain physical and mental benefit, she was in her late 20's. Because horses live to an average age of 23, she was "on borrowed time." Most of her life with us was spent in the pasture with her horse friends. Occasionally, she went on a family trail ride with me, my daughter (both of us riders) and my husband and son (neither of whom were riders, but they accomodated our whim). She was taken over by my son, probably only 7 or so, lightweight and not likely to ask much of her. She took good care of him during our quiet rides.



One day when I went out to the barn to do my evening feeding, she was lying in the paddock. When I went out to her, she didn't respond. Her eyes had glazed over and I could tell she was ready to die. This is an interesting phenominon. Animals give up when they are ready to die. I have had horses, dogs and cats indicate to me when they are just done with the pain, medical treatment, or something else they don't want to deal with any more. She had some pain, but mostly, I believe, she had just paid her dues long enough. Hers was not an easy life while she worked. She had given so much to those many special needs students that, perhaps, she was just done.



I summoned my family out to help. My son, feeling powerless, began to work diligently to keep every fly off of her body while she lay there. Tiny tears fell on her as he whispered "Don't die. Don't die." All of a sudden, out of nowhere, her visible eye came alert. Perhaps she had forgotten about her new boy that she needed to teach about horses? She gave a big sigh and with a monumental effort, hauled herself up to her feet.



We had another 4 years with her until she moved to that "pasture in the sky". She had done her work. My beloved horse, Shortcut, lived another 3 years after he was sure to die. He was blind and his eyes hurt him. But he hung in there for me. He was 33 years old. My adored cat, Buster, was only 6, but lived an extra 9 months just for me, I am quite certain. I must address how the death of a friend animal affects the animals remaining. We can all learn something from these guys who we share our lives with.

So, what did I learn? I learned that we need a good REASON to live. My animals have overcome old age, pain and illness to live longer for a reason (in Lady's case, in the person of my young son). That selflessness leads to understanding and wisdom that can't be attained any other way. So, I made it a personal goal to find my reason and to be a reason for others.

Thanks, Lady!