In a previous blog, I mentioned how I truly believe that animals choose their person. That is, unless the person needs a tool to make money. Then, that sweet little puppy is not going home to her family,to toys and games and cuddling with the kids. She is going to a puppy "factory," sometimes called a puppy mill.
Firefly was one of those vulnerable, sweet, happy little puppies hoping to find a kind person and a full dog dish. She found neither. Over ten years ago, she was brought to what would be her fate, her sentence, for no wrong doing on her part. It was a place where she was kept in deplorable conditions (after all, good conditions eat into profits) and month after month, year after year, she had endless litters. She had no veterinary attention (what, pay a vet?)and didn't even get enough FOOD to eat!
Some kind person reported the conditions there to Best Friends Animal Sanctuary located in Kanab, Utah, a long way from Arkansas where Firefly existed. But the kind people at Best Friends sent a team to investigate the situation. You should know that the law surrounding animal cruelty is lax and difficult to enforce in almost every state. It isn't like on the TV show that shows animal patrol riding in to save the day. My niece, who is connected with Best Friends, and a part of the team, convinced the owner to give up this older dog. I can imagine that he realized that she wasn't producing the way he wanted her to at this age. So, she is now in good hands.
If only the story ended happily here. But it doesn't. Firefly is in terrible condition- undernourished and full of disease. Best Friends is a non-profit, so they depend on donations for taking care of animals they find. Firefly needs a Guardian Angel that can help pay for the cost of vet bills and all of the care she will need in the last remaining years of her life. Can you help? Read about her and how to become a Guardian Angel here:
http://www.bestfriends.org/guardianangel/index.cfm?csid=5200&csii=5204&csit=Set&entry=43809B11-A74B-FD6F-9CA860F55603C095
THANKS IN ADVANCE FROM FIREFLY!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
A GREAT QUESTION
I was recently asked a great question: "My cat, who was using the litter box so well for so long, has now stopped using it. Why?"
A few questions:
-Are there any other animals in the house? Yes, 2 other cats and 1 dog
-How long have you had those other pets? The dog is the most recent addition, and we have had him over 1 year
-Any conflict between the animals? Not that I can observe
-Any medical reasons for this? No, checks out normally
-Any new people introduced into the home (ie: new baby, new boyfriend, etc.) No.
-Any new hobbies, job (different hours or late nights)? No.
-Anything that takes up animal time? No
-Are you moving? Yes.
Why does that cause cats to stress? Is it that they know they are moving? Maybe. Do they feel insecure? Absolutely. Can they "sense" the stress in their people, maybe without even knowing why it is or what it is and get stressed themselves? BINGO!
One of the leading reasons cats wind up in the shelter is for not using their litter box any more. When they move into a new home, they use the litter box just fine. Why? How can that be?
The behavior problems we find in animals almost always comes directly from the person they are most connected with (that would mean that at my house, only Augie and Bubba are safe from ME and my issues). Moving is full if stress- it is one of the top 10 stress-producers for a human. If the cat's person is stressed, even a good, happy stress, they will stop using the litter box.
So why do they use the litter box when they get a new home? Because they really do want to use it. It is instinct to use it. But most of all, the new person they find themselves having to connect with (if they can find a new home) is not stressed, but happy to have a new pet. Stress gone.
So this is where my people therapy comes in. Take care of yourself. Yes, you have so much to do, boxes to pack, calls to make, arrangements to arrange. But watch that favorite relaxing show on tv. Do some music therapy (Mozart is great for this). Soak for a while in a bubble bath. Hold your cat on your lap and breathe deeply. Fill up your lungs as much as you can through your nose, and blow out through pursed lips (like blowing up a balloon). About 10 of these deep breaths will lower your heart rate and blood pressure. You both may be asleep in minutes.
I recommend that everyone learn how to calm themselves down. No one can avoid all stress, so learn an effective way to cope with it.
Good luck, Lucy!
A few questions:
-Are there any other animals in the house? Yes, 2 other cats and 1 dog
-How long have you had those other pets? The dog is the most recent addition, and we have had him over 1 year
-Any conflict between the animals? Not that I can observe
-Any medical reasons for this? No, checks out normally
-Any new people introduced into the home (ie: new baby, new boyfriend, etc.) No.
-Any new hobbies, job (different hours or late nights)? No.
-Anything that takes up animal time? No
-Are you moving? Yes.
Why does that cause cats to stress? Is it that they know they are moving? Maybe. Do they feel insecure? Absolutely. Can they "sense" the stress in their people, maybe without even knowing why it is or what it is and get stressed themselves? BINGO!
One of the leading reasons cats wind up in the shelter is for not using their litter box any more. When they move into a new home, they use the litter box just fine. Why? How can that be?
The behavior problems we find in animals almost always comes directly from the person they are most connected with (that would mean that at my house, only Augie and Bubba are safe from ME and my issues). Moving is full if stress- it is one of the top 10 stress-producers for a human. If the cat's person is stressed, even a good, happy stress, they will stop using the litter box.
So why do they use the litter box when they get a new home? Because they really do want to use it. It is instinct to use it. But most of all, the new person they find themselves having to connect with (if they can find a new home) is not stressed, but happy to have a new pet. Stress gone.
So this is where my people therapy comes in. Take care of yourself. Yes, you have so much to do, boxes to pack, calls to make, arrangements to arrange. But watch that favorite relaxing show on tv. Do some music therapy (Mozart is great for this). Soak for a while in a bubble bath. Hold your cat on your lap and breathe deeply. Fill up your lungs as much as you can through your nose, and blow out through pursed lips (like blowing up a balloon). About 10 of these deep breaths will lower your heart rate and blood pressure. You both may be asleep in minutes.
I recommend that everyone learn how to calm themselves down. No one can avoid all stress, so learn an effective way to cope with it.
Good luck, Lucy!
Friday, January 22, 2010
The Grandbeagle and the BIA
She looks innocent, doesn't she? You might even think she was cute, but beware! She is the driving force behind the BIA (Beagle Intelligence Agency). This is Molly, my Grandbeagle. She is a killing machine. No rodent within 100 miles has a chance. When she patrolled our compound, no mole, rat, mouse nor salmon (yeah- that was a weird one) dare step foot (or fin) within the boundaries. She sought them out, dug them up and SLAM! made short work of them. Notice the wide front paws, large eyes and sensitive nose. All part of her arsenal. But the intellect is the most amazing part of her. Can dogs lie (as in "Liar, liar, pants on fire)? I report, you decide:
You have met Eddy, our sweet, kind, tolerant Lab. Every evening we handed out a rawhide chew stick to keep it somewhat calm after dinner. Eddy would lay down and chew happily. Every evening, Molly refused my offering. Not interested. Then, one evening, she ran to the back door and began barking hysterically as if there was something REALLY BIG out there. Trained well, I opened the door for her to run outside. At this point, Eddy was engaged, thinking it needed his immediate attention. When I opened the door, Molly began to run out, but once Eddy was out, she made a u-turn and grabbed his chew stick. He was out and she had stolen the prize. Mission accomplished.
Quick on the up-take, it only took me a few weeks to put 2 and 2 together. The next time she did the wild barking to get him out of the way, I would not open the door. She loves a new puzzle to solve. How nice of Grandma to provide it, huh?
Pondering only briefly, she started running around the family room, bouncing off of the furniture until Eddy just HAD to join in the game. The second he abandoned his chew stick, she scooped the fumble. Game over.
Now we could call her a thief and a liar, not the best of human characteristics. But we like to think of her as the brains behind the BIA. When you are in the secret service profession, there is a different way of looking at these things. Survival, strategic design, mental gymnastics. And anyway, Eddy always gets a replacement...GAME ON!
You have met Eddy, our sweet, kind, tolerant Lab. Every evening we handed out a rawhide chew stick to keep it somewhat calm after dinner. Eddy would lay down and chew happily. Every evening, Molly refused my offering. Not interested. Then, one evening, she ran to the back door and began barking hysterically as if there was something REALLY BIG out there. Trained well, I opened the door for her to run outside. At this point, Eddy was engaged, thinking it needed his immediate attention. When I opened the door, Molly began to run out, but once Eddy was out, she made a u-turn and grabbed his chew stick. He was out and she had stolen the prize. Mission accomplished.
Quick on the up-take, it only took me a few weeks to put 2 and 2 together. The next time she did the wild barking to get him out of the way, I would not open the door. She loves a new puzzle to solve. How nice of Grandma to provide it, huh?
Pondering only briefly, she started running around the family room, bouncing off of the furniture until Eddy just HAD to join in the game. The second he abandoned his chew stick, she scooped the fumble. Game over.
Now we could call her a thief and a liar, not the best of human characteristics. But we like to think of her as the brains behind the BIA. When you are in the secret service profession, there is a different way of looking at these things. Survival, strategic design, mental gymnastics. And anyway, Eddy always gets a replacement...GAME ON!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
BONDING BLUNDER
I tend to be introspective. I can't help it. I'm a therapist. So, as I go through the blog, I make sure that what I put down is the best information I have. I also make sure I follow my own advice.
We've been talking about bonding. I ran over my current animals in my head. I know I have made mistakes in the past. There is no going back-just learning from my mistakes. But I want to be sure that if there is something I can fix or improve, I'm right on it.
As I rolled this over in my mind, I caught a glimpse of something on my bedroom floor. It was one of those toys that kittens love to chase when their person flicks it around. The string was dirty and knotted. The feathers on the ball were pretty shabby. It laid there limp and still. Then I glanced over to my little Roscoe, my 2 year old black kitten. Well, he will always be a kitten to me. He was watching me with silent eyes from his spot on the bed. Paws curled up underneath him, but wide awake. Watching, waiting.
Roscoe is a timid little guy. My daughter calls him "the Ninja cat" because when you think you see him, he vanishes. Shy and reserved. Not pushy. He never asserts himself like our beloved Bubba, the striped cat that has chosen my husband for his person. He gets what he wants because he pushes himself on you until you respond. Not Roscoe. He waits.
Roscoe has clearly chosen me as his person. But when I got him, about 2 years ago, I had just lost Buster. That loss left a huge hole in my heart. I tried to get another cat that was NOTHING like Buster. Buster was HUGE and fluffy. Roscoe is small and short-haired. Buster was white and gray, Roscoe is solid black. I didn't want to look for Buster every time I looked at my new family member. What I didn't realize is that I still look for Buster, even to this day. It is just going to be that way. Poor Roscoe suffered from this. I played with him constantly. He was bouncy and fun. He chased anything that moved. For the first months, maybe the first year, we played and played. We didn't have any quiet times together. No petting and bonding, just playing.
It turns out that the only times we were "together," we played. He was not pushy, so he didn't get the bonding he needed. Bonding that probably would have given him the confidence to hang out with the family more than he does.
I was horrified to think of this travesty that was my fault. As I looked at his favorite toy and his copper eyes silently watching me, I wondered if it were too late. I picked up the handle of the toy and began to wiggle the long string attached to the ball and feathers. He pounced so quickly, it startled me. We played for several minutes and then he settled down for another cat nap. I petted and talked in a whisper to him. He purred loudly and rubbed his face on my hand (a cat's way of showing glee). Then he placed his little out-stretched paw on my non-petting hand. I think we were making a pact. More playing, more petting, more quiet talking and more family time. It's never too late.
We've been talking about bonding. I ran over my current animals in my head. I know I have made mistakes in the past. There is no going back-just learning from my mistakes. But I want to be sure that if there is something I can fix or improve, I'm right on it.
As I rolled this over in my mind, I caught a glimpse of something on my bedroom floor. It was one of those toys that kittens love to chase when their person flicks it around. The string was dirty and knotted. The feathers on the ball were pretty shabby. It laid there limp and still. Then I glanced over to my little Roscoe, my 2 year old black kitten. Well, he will always be a kitten to me. He was watching me with silent eyes from his spot on the bed. Paws curled up underneath him, but wide awake. Watching, waiting.
Roscoe is a timid little guy. My daughter calls him "the Ninja cat" because when you think you see him, he vanishes. Shy and reserved. Not pushy. He never asserts himself like our beloved Bubba, the striped cat that has chosen my husband for his person. He gets what he wants because he pushes himself on you until you respond. Not Roscoe. He waits.
Roscoe has clearly chosen me as his person. But when I got him, about 2 years ago, I had just lost Buster. That loss left a huge hole in my heart. I tried to get another cat that was NOTHING like Buster. Buster was HUGE and fluffy. Roscoe is small and short-haired. Buster was white and gray, Roscoe is solid black. I didn't want to look for Buster every time I looked at my new family member. What I didn't realize is that I still look for Buster, even to this day. It is just going to be that way. Poor Roscoe suffered from this. I played with him constantly. He was bouncy and fun. He chased anything that moved. For the first months, maybe the first year, we played and played. We didn't have any quiet times together. No petting and bonding, just playing.
It turns out that the only times we were "together," we played. He was not pushy, so he didn't get the bonding he needed. Bonding that probably would have given him the confidence to hang out with the family more than he does.
I was horrified to think of this travesty that was my fault. As I looked at his favorite toy and his copper eyes silently watching me, I wondered if it were too late. I picked up the handle of the toy and began to wiggle the long string attached to the ball and feathers. He pounced so quickly, it startled me. We played for several minutes and then he settled down for another cat nap. I petted and talked in a whisper to him. He purred loudly and rubbed his face on my hand (a cat's way of showing glee). Then he placed his little out-stretched paw on my non-petting hand. I think we were making a pact. More playing, more petting, more quiet talking and more family time. It's never too late.
Friday, January 15, 2010
MOVE IN DAY
So that new pet has chosen you and it is move in day.
It's a lot like if you were to be joining a new firm or a new fraternity or family. The animal is usually (depending on age- the younger, the more oblivious to the change) a little nervous and displaced, at least. Bonding has begun already, and the first thing a pet looks for is the "alpha person" in the household.
Animals survive best in groups. You and/or your family is their new group. They look for the leader of the pack. A fast way to make your furry friend feel uncomfortable is to abdicate leadership. They will eventually take it, but knowing all the while that someone else should be the pack leader. This only makes them feel insecure.
NO RULES, JUST RIGHT?
Sorry, boundaries are called for here. I see so many children and adolescents whose parents have chosen NOT to have rules (doing nothing is doing something) and that throws the poor kid into chaos. Same with Fido, Fluffy and Trigger. Boundaries make for clarity. Don't we all crave clarity?
You don't have to be mean or even a disciplinarian. Just CONFIDENT, CONSISTENT and FIRM (wish there was another "c" word meaning firm).
CONFIDENT- this is best attained by deciding exactly what the rules will be and discuss them with the family. I don't care what the rules are, but have guidelines so everybody knows what the expectations are, including the pet.
CONSISTENT- Maybe the most important thing. You can get your pet to do anything if you are consistent. Pavlov (remember the salivating dogs that Dr. Pavlov used to test his theory of "classic conditioning"? Every time he rang a bell, a small amount of food would drop down. So, every time the bell rang, the dogs would salivate- it works pretty well on people, too) discovered that even after he stopped feeding the dogs with the bell ringing first, they still salivated. So, if you are trying to keep your dog from jumping, and sometimes you allow it, even if you go ballistic sometimes, they will still think it just might be OK this time. Keep in mind those times when you are wearing your good pants, or someone comes over to visit. You must plan for those times.
FIRM- Whatever your chosen answer is for the undesired behavior (say a squirt of water for the cat on the counter top) go with it every time. Don't rationalize for them. They must know that every time they do (whatever) it will be received by the same discipline. Sometimes just a disparaging word works well. Every animal is different, so you will have to do a little trial by error. Start with the least aggressive amount of discipline. I start with "NO!" I had to change that to ,"no..." with Suki. She was so sensitive. Some need a bit more. But if you are confident, they will listen.
Confidence is a mental state. We'll talk about that next.
Once you have your boundaries, you are consistent and firm, settle in for the fun part- building rapport.
The first day is always a LOW-KEY day. Depending on the animal, age, temperament, I may not even allow anyone over to meet the new dog, cat or horse until the animal feels comfortable in their new space and they determine who is the alpha person (the person EVERYONE in the family takes orders from). Then sitting and getting petted or stroked, a few treats or anything that lets the "new guy" know that they are in friendly territory. It can take just a short time.
Children, while enthusiastic, can be too much for the new pet to cope with. Here's where the parent (hopefully the alpha person!) takes charge and allows the four-footed child and the 2-footed child to get to know each other slowly and quietly.
Take your time and get to know each other. This is not a 60-second date. This is the beginning of a life-long friendship. Relax into it.
It's a lot like if you were to be joining a new firm or a new fraternity or family. The animal is usually (depending on age- the younger, the more oblivious to the change) a little nervous and displaced, at least. Bonding has begun already, and the first thing a pet looks for is the "alpha person" in the household.
Animals survive best in groups. You and/or your family is their new group. They look for the leader of the pack. A fast way to make your furry friend feel uncomfortable is to abdicate leadership. They will eventually take it, but knowing all the while that someone else should be the pack leader. This only makes them feel insecure.
NO RULES, JUST RIGHT?
Sorry, boundaries are called for here. I see so many children and adolescents whose parents have chosen NOT to have rules (doing nothing is doing something) and that throws the poor kid into chaos. Same with Fido, Fluffy and Trigger. Boundaries make for clarity. Don't we all crave clarity?
You don't have to be mean or even a disciplinarian. Just CONFIDENT, CONSISTENT and FIRM (wish there was another "c" word meaning firm).
CONFIDENT- this is best attained by deciding exactly what the rules will be and discuss them with the family. I don't care what the rules are, but have guidelines so everybody knows what the expectations are, including the pet.
CONSISTENT- Maybe the most important thing. You can get your pet to do anything if you are consistent. Pavlov (remember the salivating dogs that Dr. Pavlov used to test his theory of "classic conditioning"? Every time he rang a bell, a small amount of food would drop down. So, every time the bell rang, the dogs would salivate- it works pretty well on people, too) discovered that even after he stopped feeding the dogs with the bell ringing first, they still salivated. So, if you are trying to keep your dog from jumping, and sometimes you allow it, even if you go ballistic sometimes, they will still think it just might be OK this time. Keep in mind those times when you are wearing your good pants, or someone comes over to visit. You must plan for those times.
FIRM- Whatever your chosen answer is for the undesired behavior (say a squirt of water for the cat on the counter top) go with it every time. Don't rationalize for them. They must know that every time they do (whatever) it will be received by the same discipline. Sometimes just a disparaging word works well. Every animal is different, so you will have to do a little trial by error. Start with the least aggressive amount of discipline. I start with "NO!" I had to change that to ,"no..." with Suki. She was so sensitive. Some need a bit more. But if you are confident, they will listen.
Confidence is a mental state. We'll talk about that next.
Once you have your boundaries, you are consistent and firm, settle in for the fun part- building rapport.
The first day is always a LOW-KEY day. Depending on the animal, age, temperament, I may not even allow anyone over to meet the new dog, cat or horse until the animal feels comfortable in their new space and they determine who is the alpha person (the person EVERYONE in the family takes orders from). Then sitting and getting petted or stroked, a few treats or anything that lets the "new guy" know that they are in friendly territory. It can take just a short time.
Children, while enthusiastic, can be too much for the new pet to cope with. Here's where the parent (hopefully the alpha person!) takes charge and allows the four-footed child and the 2-footed child to get to know each other slowly and quietly.
Take your time and get to know each other. This is not a 60-second date. This is the beginning of a life-long friendship. Relax into it.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Mr/Ms RIGHT
First thing about bonding is finding Mr or Ms Right. I mean the pet needs to choose YOU. Imagine bonding with the wrong significant other. Just doesn't work, does it?
HOW DO THEY FIND ME?
I guess you have to participate to some degree. Dogs and cats don't usually have the ability to get to you when you are ready to adopt a new family member. I have been hunted down by dogs dropped off by irresponsible owners (don't get me started on THAT behavior) and neighborhood dogs that just decided that their new address was mine. But usually it goes something like this: You go into the shelter and while looking into the cages, your eyes lock with some big, scruffy dog that WAS NOT what you had in mind when you came in, but you are now driving home with that lucky creature on your lap. Or you go to see a litter of puppies and one just won't leave you alone. They can't "talk" but they certainly can communicate.
I want to encourage people to examine their own lives before they decide on what animal generally fits them.
Breeds of dogs DO have certain characteristics that will surface eventually. Beagles do bark. A LOT. So, if your chosen one has any Beagle in them, expect to become used to the "sounding off" that Beagles do. Labs retrieve, so they often become fixated (and I mean that in the Obsessive-Compulsive kind of way) on something they can retrieve- such as the tennis ball, Frisbee, stick, etc. My suggestion here is to actively choose the thing they become OCD on. Something you will find manageable. Otherwise they will choose and it's so hard to get them to stop chewing those sticks (and getting stick stuck in their throats) or rocks (I knew a dog that broke MANY teeth chewing rocks) We like the tennis ball. Cheap, easy to throw, easily replaced.
So, get a hang of what breed characteristics fit with your lifestyle. Greyhounds DO NOT need a ton of exercise, are gentle and low-energy. Make great pets.
Some people like a little more "boldness". Dobermans are intelligent and loyal, and usually bold. Small dogs have more energy and it might be a better fit for a larger, less active dog in that small house or apartment.
Just things to think about when pursuing the new pet.
MY PITCH FOR CATS
If you work all day, come home late, go away on weekends, only have bits and pieces of time for a relationship (that's what we're talking about, after all) a cat, rather, 2 cats are for you. They are playful, self-reliant, love to cuddle and can be dedicated to their person, but don't need the daily walks, play, and general maintenance that a dog needs- must have in fact- or things can get ugly fast.
Why 2 cats? They will play together while you are away, snuggle and generally take care of each other. My daughter's cat and Beagle keep each other company, so that is fine, but our cats would be lost without one another.
So, do a little planning when choosing the general kind of pet you are looking for, and they will find you. THEN the bonding can begin.
HOW DO THEY FIND ME?
I guess you have to participate to some degree. Dogs and cats don't usually have the ability to get to you when you are ready to adopt a new family member. I have been hunted down by dogs dropped off by irresponsible owners (don't get me started on THAT behavior) and neighborhood dogs that just decided that their new address was mine. But usually it goes something like this: You go into the shelter and while looking into the cages, your eyes lock with some big, scruffy dog that WAS NOT what you had in mind when you came in, but you are now driving home with that lucky creature on your lap. Or you go to see a litter of puppies and one just won't leave you alone. They can't "talk" but they certainly can communicate.
I want to encourage people to examine their own lives before they decide on what animal generally fits them.
Breeds of dogs DO have certain characteristics that will surface eventually. Beagles do bark. A LOT. So, if your chosen one has any Beagle in them, expect to become used to the "sounding off" that Beagles do. Labs retrieve, so they often become fixated (and I mean that in the Obsessive-Compulsive kind of way) on something they can retrieve- such as the tennis ball, Frisbee, stick, etc. My suggestion here is to actively choose the thing they become OCD on. Something you will find manageable. Otherwise they will choose and it's so hard to get them to stop chewing those sticks (and getting stick stuck in their throats) or rocks (I knew a dog that broke MANY teeth chewing rocks) We like the tennis ball. Cheap, easy to throw, easily replaced.
So, get a hang of what breed characteristics fit with your lifestyle. Greyhounds DO NOT need a ton of exercise, are gentle and low-energy. Make great pets.
Some people like a little more "boldness". Dobermans are intelligent and loyal, and usually bold. Small dogs have more energy and it might be a better fit for a larger, less active dog in that small house or apartment.
Just things to think about when pursuing the new pet.
MY PITCH FOR CATS
If you work all day, come home late, go away on weekends, only have bits and pieces of time for a relationship (that's what we're talking about, after all) a cat, rather, 2 cats are for you. They are playful, self-reliant, love to cuddle and can be dedicated to their person, but don't need the daily walks, play, and general maintenance that a dog needs- must have in fact- or things can get ugly fast.
Why 2 cats? They will play together while you are away, snuggle and generally take care of each other. My daughter's cat and Beagle keep each other company, so that is fine, but our cats would be lost without one another.
So, do a little planning when choosing the general kind of pet you are looking for, and they will find you. THEN the bonding can begin.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
SO WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?
Proper bonding, that is.
Meet Edward Ronald M. Our 10 year old yellow Lab. He came to us from a Breed rescue at 6 months. No proper bonding went on for the first 6 months of his life. He lived in a small apartment, wrecked his crate (literally tore it apart), barked day and night when his owners were out and chewed whatever he could get his teeth on. Hmmm. Just a little bit hysterical. I knew correct bonding could straighten his path.
It took a while, but now he is calm, friendly, greets all people and other dogs, cats, and horses with a pleasant attitude. He sleeps next to me at night, in his crate (door open) during the day. Not aggressive or timid, he is the picture of confidence. We walk (along with Augie, our 2 year old female Labradoodle)for 1 hour in the morning and 1/2 hour in the late afternoon. While on our daily adventures, he meets a dozen or so other dogs and their people. If the dog is aggressive, he avoids it (but doesn't take any crap) If the dog is timid, he leaves it alone. If the other dog is friendly, he sniffs and wags his tail, then moves on. He is the talk of the trail set. "What a great dog!" is something I hear all the time.
One day, the neighborhood bear (yes, we have one) was in the bushes and he protected Augie and me by growling and barking- chasing the bear away. He enjoys sniffing and "hunting" and trotting along, but never loses sight of me or crosses a street without my OK. He has never been "trained" but has been socialized properly and, of course, was bonded correctly.
It takes a little bit to explain how an unruly, insecure, hysterical Lab can become the perfect dog. We'll keep on going with this. More later...
Meet Edward Ronald M. Our 10 year old yellow Lab. He came to us from a Breed rescue at 6 months. No proper bonding went on for the first 6 months of his life. He lived in a small apartment, wrecked his crate (literally tore it apart), barked day and night when his owners were out and chewed whatever he could get his teeth on. Hmmm. Just a little bit hysterical. I knew correct bonding could straighten his path.
It took a while, but now he is calm, friendly, greets all people and other dogs, cats, and horses with a pleasant attitude. He sleeps next to me at night, in his crate (door open) during the day. Not aggressive or timid, he is the picture of confidence. We walk (along with Augie, our 2 year old female Labradoodle)for 1 hour in the morning and 1/2 hour in the late afternoon. While on our daily adventures, he meets a dozen or so other dogs and their people. If the dog is aggressive, he avoids it (but doesn't take any crap) If the dog is timid, he leaves it alone. If the other dog is friendly, he sniffs and wags his tail, then moves on. He is the talk of the trail set. "What a great dog!" is something I hear all the time.
One day, the neighborhood bear (yes, we have one) was in the bushes and he protected Augie and me by growling and barking- chasing the bear away. He enjoys sniffing and "hunting" and trotting along, but never loses sight of me or crosses a street without my OK. He has never been "trained" but has been socialized properly and, of course, was bonded correctly.
It takes a little bit to explain how an unruly, insecure, hysterical Lab can become the perfect dog. We'll keep on going with this. More later...
Saturday, January 9, 2010
BOND (ing) PART II- DR. NO
I realized that in my last post, I told more stories of dysfunctional bonding relating to submissive owners, over indulgence and co-dependence. It can go the other way, too. But I want to tell one more story of what great damage not being able to say "no" and/or losing oneself in the relationship with your animal.
BUSTER
My most adored cat, Buster, and I first met online. (no it wasn't a cat room). I looked up shelter kittens and found his picture there. Something about him drew me in. Usually, when I go to a shelter, I am willing to give any one of the animals a good home. They are all needy. But he captured my heart at first look. When I arrived at the shelter on the gray, wet Seattle day, I noticed immediately how meager the building was. They had large card files of all of the cats and kittens that were up for adoption. In the Seattle area, the county shelters dispose of 8,000 pounds of dog and cat bodies (having been euthanized) per WEEK. That is an old statistic. Frankly, it is too painful to find out the real number.
Buster (that wasn't his name at the time) was in the arms of another woman. She had adopted him. I turned around and left.
After Thanksgiving weekend was almost over, and I came to my senses that I should be happy that now two cats would find a good home, I returned to the shelter. I explained what kind of kitten I was looking for, and the kind volunteer told me that she thought they had one I might like. We rounded the corner together. "He was just returned. I guess he harassed the other cat they already had." Yep. It was Buster. I named him that because he was obviously a bully.
WHERE DID WE GO WRONG?
Believe me, I love all animals- the cute and the ugly ones, the mean and the nice ones, the timid and the bold ones-ALL of them. But I still can't explain what it was about Buster that separated him from the other animals I have had. Maybe because he was absolutely devoted to me. He waited by the door from the garage every day when he heard my car come home. He asked for "shoulder time." (time when it was full attention on him while I held him. He wanted to get petted and held at night if I got up to pee. I could go on and on. So far, so good, right?
Not exactly. All was well until I had 2 vacations (totaling 3 weeks) in one summer. Highly unusual. We hardly ever travel at all. We had a competent pet sitter, in our own home. But it was almost immediately following the last vacation that he developed asthma.
After a harrowing trip to the emergency room and $1200 later, we finally found a vet that could tell us what he had and help us to treat it. The first emergency room visit was on September 5. I found his lifeless little body on May 31. I had almost 9 months of every kind of vet tech work I could do at home and a slow, agonizing realization that it was only borrowed time that we had together. With all of my tireless work to keep him alive, we grew even closer. That morning he had an attack that was terrifying for both of us. I released him at that point. As he lay still, grasping for air, I told him that I was willing to fight forever, but if he wanted to be done with this, I understood. I will talk about death and the will to live another day.
You see how his dependence on me contributed to his death? Was he afraid without me? Missed me too much? I don't know. I don't think the vet would attribute all of it to our codependent relationship, but I think it had a lot to do with it. He was only 6 years old.
Healthy bonding is as important to person-animal relationships as it is to person-person relationships. The first few blogs talked about pathology, most of which could have been avoided with proper bonding. So, where do we go from here?
BUSTER
My most adored cat, Buster, and I first met online. (no it wasn't a cat room). I looked up shelter kittens and found his picture there. Something about him drew me in. Usually, when I go to a shelter, I am willing to give any one of the animals a good home. They are all needy. But he captured my heart at first look. When I arrived at the shelter on the gray, wet Seattle day, I noticed immediately how meager the building was. They had large card files of all of the cats and kittens that were up for adoption. In the Seattle area, the county shelters dispose of 8,000 pounds of dog and cat bodies (having been euthanized) per WEEK. That is an old statistic. Frankly, it is too painful to find out the real number.
Buster (that wasn't his name at the time) was in the arms of another woman. She had adopted him. I turned around and left.
After Thanksgiving weekend was almost over, and I came to my senses that I should be happy that now two cats would find a good home, I returned to the shelter. I explained what kind of kitten I was looking for, and the kind volunteer told me that she thought they had one I might like. We rounded the corner together. "He was just returned. I guess he harassed the other cat they already had." Yep. It was Buster. I named him that because he was obviously a bully.
WHERE DID WE GO WRONG?
Believe me, I love all animals- the cute and the ugly ones, the mean and the nice ones, the timid and the bold ones-ALL of them. But I still can't explain what it was about Buster that separated him from the other animals I have had. Maybe because he was absolutely devoted to me. He waited by the door from the garage every day when he heard my car come home. He asked for "shoulder time." (time when it was full attention on him while I held him. He wanted to get petted and held at night if I got up to pee. I could go on and on. So far, so good, right?
Not exactly. All was well until I had 2 vacations (totaling 3 weeks) in one summer. Highly unusual. We hardly ever travel at all. We had a competent pet sitter, in our own home. But it was almost immediately following the last vacation that he developed asthma.
After a harrowing trip to the emergency room and $1200 later, we finally found a vet that could tell us what he had and help us to treat it. The first emergency room visit was on September 5. I found his lifeless little body on May 31. I had almost 9 months of every kind of vet tech work I could do at home and a slow, agonizing realization that it was only borrowed time that we had together. With all of my tireless work to keep him alive, we grew even closer. That morning he had an attack that was terrifying for both of us. I released him at that point. As he lay still, grasping for air, I told him that I was willing to fight forever, but if he wanted to be done with this, I understood. I will talk about death and the will to live another day.
You see how his dependence on me contributed to his death? Was he afraid without me? Missed me too much? I don't know. I don't think the vet would attribute all of it to our codependent relationship, but I think it had a lot to do with it. He was only 6 years old.
Healthy bonding is as important to person-animal relationships as it is to person-person relationships. The first few blogs talked about pathology, most of which could have been avoided with proper bonding. So, where do we go from here?
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
BUILDING A BOND critical thing #1
I have skipped around this VITAL issue in the posts describing pathology. It is the ONE THING that goes wrong the most frequently in all animal-person relationships.
Stories work best for me, so here are a few:
Alice was a feral cat. That is, wild. Cats born feral usually stay wild. Most reputable shelters will not try to domesticate feral cats for adoption. If caught young enough, before the mother can imprint on them the wild ways, they are fine. But by the time they are an adoptable age (8-12 weeks old) they are feral. As simple as that.
Alice came to me via my vet. She had been born and caught in his barn. He spayed her and gave her appropriate shots and found me to take her in. She was approximately 12 weeks old. I tried to keep her in my barn, but made the fatal (figuratively and literally) mistake of trying to get close to her. I later learned that if people get too close, even a little, it compromises that cat's ability to survive in the wild. There are countless predators and dangers out there, and if the cat's senses are dulled or relaxed, she will not survive.
There are many coyotes where I live. I finally decided that Alice must move inside if she were to live. Now I had totally messed it up. She was over a year old, not really domesticated, but lulled into a false sense of security and she was moving into our house.
She never learned to use the litter box. My own fault. I just never got any new carpet until her life was over (many years later). She would sit next to me and allow me to pet her, but we were never able to bond the way people and their cat should.
BOUNDARIES, PLEASE!
Ever meet that small, yappy dog on a short leash that won't shut up? They are screaming over and over, "I want someone to take charge here!" Their owner has not yet given them the leadership they crave. They know they are small, and because the owner has not yet become the Master, they are taking charge. Many, many of my clients are dogs who have no leader.
I know, you want them to love you as much as you love them. THEN GIVE THEM WHAT THEY REALLY WANT! Boundaries.
I had a next-door neighbor who loved her poodle so much that he wouldn't eat anything but a steak purchased from a restaurant. (apparently she was a bad cook).
I knew a couple who just HAD to feed their dog, while he sat on their lap, with a spoon.
My son's friend had a dog that would bolt out of the front door if it were opened even a crack.
Wild barking, aggressiveness, chewing, running away, pretty much all unacceptable behaviors can be traced back to inappropriate bonding.
THE HORSE USED TO BE SO WELL TRAINED
There are loads of behaviors in horses that stem from poor bonding. Many horses are "barn sour" (that is, try aggressively to run madly towards home, sometimes after dumping their rider). Some horses cannot be trusted not to bite or kick.
I knew a woman who wanted a horse for most of her life. She finally was in a position to get one. She selected a very well trained, quiet and lovely Appaloosa gelding. It should have been a match made in heaven. It turned out to be hell.
Every time she rode him, she "trained" him to do another bad behavior. If he stopped randomly, she would pat him and give him verbal praise (??). Pretty soon he wouldn't go at all. When she was in her lesson with him and the trainer insisted she use a crop (a small whip), he "pinned" his ears (body language that means, "I am really angry") and threw a fit. What happened to all of that professional training?
I will explore HOW to bond with your dog, cat and horse and establish yourself as the authority figure next time...
Stories work best for me, so here are a few:
Alice was a feral cat. That is, wild. Cats born feral usually stay wild. Most reputable shelters will not try to domesticate feral cats for adoption. If caught young enough, before the mother can imprint on them the wild ways, they are fine. But by the time they are an adoptable age (8-12 weeks old) they are feral. As simple as that.
Alice came to me via my vet. She had been born and caught in his barn. He spayed her and gave her appropriate shots and found me to take her in. She was approximately 12 weeks old. I tried to keep her in my barn, but made the fatal (figuratively and literally) mistake of trying to get close to her. I later learned that if people get too close, even a little, it compromises that cat's ability to survive in the wild. There are countless predators and dangers out there, and if the cat's senses are dulled or relaxed, she will not survive.
There are many coyotes where I live. I finally decided that Alice must move inside if she were to live. Now I had totally messed it up. She was over a year old, not really domesticated, but lulled into a false sense of security and she was moving into our house.
She never learned to use the litter box. My own fault. I just never got any new carpet until her life was over (many years later). She would sit next to me and allow me to pet her, but we were never able to bond the way people and their cat should.
BOUNDARIES, PLEASE!
Ever meet that small, yappy dog on a short leash that won't shut up? They are screaming over and over, "I want someone to take charge here!" Their owner has not yet given them the leadership they crave. They know they are small, and because the owner has not yet become the Master, they are taking charge. Many, many of my clients are dogs who have no leader.
I know, you want them to love you as much as you love them. THEN GIVE THEM WHAT THEY REALLY WANT! Boundaries.
I had a next-door neighbor who loved her poodle so much that he wouldn't eat anything but a steak purchased from a restaurant. (apparently she was a bad cook).
I knew a couple who just HAD to feed their dog, while he sat on their lap, with a spoon.
My son's friend had a dog that would bolt out of the front door if it were opened even a crack.
Wild barking, aggressiveness, chewing, running away, pretty much all unacceptable behaviors can be traced back to inappropriate bonding.
THE HORSE USED TO BE SO WELL TRAINED
There are loads of behaviors in horses that stem from poor bonding. Many horses are "barn sour" (that is, try aggressively to run madly towards home, sometimes after dumping their rider). Some horses cannot be trusted not to bite or kick.
I knew a woman who wanted a horse for most of her life. She finally was in a position to get one. She selected a very well trained, quiet and lovely Appaloosa gelding. It should have been a match made in heaven. It turned out to be hell.
Every time she rode him, she "trained" him to do another bad behavior. If he stopped randomly, she would pat him and give him verbal praise (??). Pretty soon he wouldn't go at all. When she was in her lesson with him and the trainer insisted she use a crop (a small whip), he "pinned" his ears (body language that means, "I am really angry") and threw a fit. What happened to all of that professional training?
I will explore HOW to bond with your dog, cat and horse and establish yourself as the authority figure next time...
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
IT'S ALL IN A NAME
I never gave too much thought to what I named my furry friends. I tend to lean towards the names that are "people" names. (I know I have referred to animals on the blog that are not people names. I don't always use their actual names. Not sure whose identity I am protecting). One of my least favorite name-types is descriptive names, like "Blackie" or "Fluffy" or "Digger." Probably the worst category of names is the disrespectful names like "Darn It" (this is a family-friendly blog) or "Ugly" or "Stupid". I like to use human names because I treat my animals like one of my family members.
The longer I have observed animals and their behavior, the more I believe that the name we choose for our companion directs the behavior of that animal. I named one of my horses "Emma" which means "all embracing", and she sure was- she loved everyone, came when anyone called her and was the neighborhood favorite. I had a horse whose long name was naturally shortened to "Bangy" and he was constantly needing stitches or minor vet care. I began calling him another name and the "bangs" stopped! I knew a mare named "Vendetta" who was generally ill-mannered. Talented, but not an "all-embracing" kind of horse.
The most popular name for dogs last year was "Buddy". Now, the dog may not be your best buddy right away, but they grow into their name. My 2 year old Norwegian Fjord (the cover picture on the blog) is named "Bergitta" which is Norwegian for "Protecting power". Right now she is neither protecting nor powerful. But I fully expect she will grow into her name.
I even go so far as to look names up on the baby name websites to be sure I have a name that means something that is positive and the feeling I get from that dog, cat or horse.
NAMES FROM THE PAST
If you get an animal from a shelter, or from a situation that might have been abusive, get rid of the name right away. This is where the psychology comes in. Animals are really great at living in the now. They are all about the present. But if we keep calling up the past every time we call their name, it makes it tough. Cut with the past. Whatever you name them, they will know that is who they are NOW, and you, being the Master, have redirected their lives into a new phase. They will respond to it immediately and know that the past is gone. I have re-named dogs, cats, horses and they don't even skip a beat. They do not have any identity crisis. They are not confused. They live in the now and you are their new hope. Yeah!
The longer I have observed animals and their behavior, the more I believe that the name we choose for our companion directs the behavior of that animal. I named one of my horses "Emma" which means "all embracing", and she sure was- she loved everyone, came when anyone called her and was the neighborhood favorite. I had a horse whose long name was naturally shortened to "Bangy" and he was constantly needing stitches or minor vet care. I began calling him another name and the "bangs" stopped! I knew a mare named "Vendetta" who was generally ill-mannered. Talented, but not an "all-embracing" kind of horse.
The most popular name for dogs last year was "Buddy". Now, the dog may not be your best buddy right away, but they grow into their name. My 2 year old Norwegian Fjord (the cover picture on the blog) is named "Bergitta" which is Norwegian for "Protecting power". Right now she is neither protecting nor powerful. But I fully expect she will grow into her name.
I even go so far as to look names up on the baby name websites to be sure I have a name that means something that is positive and the feeling I get from that dog, cat or horse.
NAMES FROM THE PAST
If you get an animal from a shelter, or from a situation that might have been abusive, get rid of the name right away. This is where the psychology comes in. Animals are really great at living in the now. They are all about the present. But if we keep calling up the past every time we call their name, it makes it tough. Cut with the past. Whatever you name them, they will know that is who they are NOW, and you, being the Master, have redirected their lives into a new phase. They will respond to it immediately and know that the past is gone. I have re-named dogs, cats, horses and they don't even skip a beat. They do not have any identity crisis. They are not confused. They live in the now and you are their new hope. Yeah!
Monday, January 4, 2010
PHOBIC CAT
I have had so many cats with various disorders it was hard to choose just one. This is not to say that they are not wonderful pets. Someone once asked me what kind of animals I prefer. That's like asking a mom which child she prefers. I love them all, and my very favorites span horses, dogs and cats. They are, in fact, all a little disordered. It's OK. Most people are, too. We just learn to live with and love the quirks. (I promised my husband not to include him on the blog. I am trying not to mention him...)
A little story, a diagnosis, and treatment solution.
Most people have a strong feeling about cats. Either they LOVE then or HATE them. I am quite sure that people who hate them just don't know them well enough. As this blog progresses, I hope that you will get to know them well enough that you will consider having a dog and a cat for your own.
Toby began his life in a shelter foster home. He was one of 5 black kittens born to a shelter "queen" (I love the name of female cats!). All of his siblings had been adopted as soon as they were available- about 8 weeks old. But Toby, a delightful, playful little rascal was still there. I was looking for a new kitten. My beloved Fluffy had died of complications due to asthma. I still grieve that cat- we clearly had a co-dependent relationship. (I will address bonding here in the next few weeks. It is the single most important thing that people often screw up) So I went to the shelter specializing in cats only (where I found Fluffy). Toby was the only kitten in the place and because I had a young adult cat at home, I thought it best to adopt a kitten. They allowed me to take him into a room where we played. He was bright, affectionate, playful and liked me right away. But would not tolerate being picked up. The shelter lady came in to give him one more nail clip and discuss the rules for adoption with me. Toby played and played, but did NOT want to be held. This was the complete opposite of Fluffy. All he wanted to do was be held. When I got up in the night to go to the bathroom, he tried to get some lap time in (??). But I was in need of a new kitten, so I took little black Toby home.
He has now turned 3 years old and loves to be petted, played with and loved. BUT DO NOT PICK HIM UP. His paws must be on firm ground or he gets hysterical. My visiting father-in-law told me that Toby scratched him. Quote unusual- Toby is very kind with his claws and never bites. When I asked what happened, all he had to say was "He wanted me to pick him up." Oh, no. "He lied to you." I told him. "He NEVER wants to be picked up, though he always seems like he does."
DIAGNOISIS: Phobia-perhaps Claustrophobia (there is not a phobia that people experience that corresponds to this one, exactly)
TREATMENT PLAN:
Many phobias stick with you, but exposure therapy works pretty well. We are carrying him short distances without forcing him. He is responding, but progress is slow! We are able to go all the way downstairs, but at the foot of the stairs he wants to be set free! I don't really care- It is a small quirk to me, and our other cat is thrilled to be carried around.
A little story, a diagnosis, and treatment solution.
Most people have a strong feeling about cats. Either they LOVE then or HATE them. I am quite sure that people who hate them just don't know them well enough. As this blog progresses, I hope that you will get to know them well enough that you will consider having a dog and a cat for your own.
Toby began his life in a shelter foster home. He was one of 5 black kittens born to a shelter "queen" (I love the name of female cats!). All of his siblings had been adopted as soon as they were available- about 8 weeks old. But Toby, a delightful, playful little rascal was still there. I was looking for a new kitten. My beloved Fluffy had died of complications due to asthma. I still grieve that cat- we clearly had a co-dependent relationship. (I will address bonding here in the next few weeks. It is the single most important thing that people often screw up) So I went to the shelter specializing in cats only (where I found Fluffy). Toby was the only kitten in the place and because I had a young adult cat at home, I thought it best to adopt a kitten. They allowed me to take him into a room where we played. He was bright, affectionate, playful and liked me right away. But would not tolerate being picked up. The shelter lady came in to give him one more nail clip and discuss the rules for adoption with me. Toby played and played, but did NOT want to be held. This was the complete opposite of Fluffy. All he wanted to do was be held. When I got up in the night to go to the bathroom, he tried to get some lap time in (??). But I was in need of a new kitten, so I took little black Toby home.
He has now turned 3 years old and loves to be petted, played with and loved. BUT DO NOT PICK HIM UP. His paws must be on firm ground or he gets hysterical. My visiting father-in-law told me that Toby scratched him. Quote unusual- Toby is very kind with his claws and never bites. When I asked what happened, all he had to say was "He wanted me to pick him up." Oh, no. "He lied to you." I told him. "He NEVER wants to be picked up, though he always seems like he does."
DIAGNOISIS: Phobia-perhaps Claustrophobia (there is not a phobia that people experience that corresponds to this one, exactly)
TREATMENT PLAN:
Many phobias stick with you, but exposure therapy works pretty well. We are carrying him short distances without forcing him. He is responding, but progress is slow! We are able to go all the way downstairs, but at the foot of the stairs he wants to be set free! I don't really care- It is a small quirk to me, and our other cat is thrilled to be carried around.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
DISORDERED DOGS?
Most of you are thinking, "my dog is a little quirky, but I don't think he's NUTS."
I am sure that the previous post of that socio-path horse was a little beyond what most people experience in their pet. Many who are kind and generous enough to adopt an older pet from a shelter may find they have a few disorders to overcome.
Shelters do our pets a great service. They care for and place literally hundreds of thousands of dogs and cats in a year. They have little money and lots of love. There is always a reason the pet ended up at the shelter. You may be able to discover and overcome that reason.
A little story, diagnosis, and treatment solution.
Kia was a 4-timer. She had been adopted and returned to the shelter 4 times. It was not a "no-kill" shelter, so it was looking bad for her. Time was running out.
She was a black Lab of some kind, about 75 pounds. Really nothing particularly outstanding about her. 2 years old sporting a standard Lab coat. You may have walked right past her cage. Many did.
Her story, sketchy and missing a lot of detail did tell me some things I needed to know. What was the reasons she had been returned? All four returns said the same thing-"ran away". I guess nothing could hold her- no fence, leash, rope, could keep her from running. What was she running to? Or, from?
Her first owner had been a handicapped person. She had gone through training as a companion dog. This training is difficult and stressful for the dog. Those few who make it to graduation are solid, dependable dogs. So, running away poses a big question. Or provides a big answer. Off to the shelter for her first time.
Second and third owners couldn't keep her in check. Ran away constantly. When found, she was brought back to them, but eventually they both gave up. I never met them, but I met (and now adopted) her. I can say she was filled with fear. Every loud noise, anything that looked like a weapon (such as a rawhide stick) would send her diving for the ground. Kind and sweet, she was never aggressive, but just tried to avoid any conflicts. Running away FROM?
I found quickly that if she did anything I did not approve of, I could not even raise my voice. I said "no", almost in a whisper. That was all it took. She never was a calm, relaxed dog, but lived to be 16, always on edge.
DIAGNOSIS: Generalized Anxiety Disorder
TREATMENT: Keep stress low or non-existent, if possible. Patience, patience, patience! Routines help because there is predictability. She did very well with a dog companion- it seemed to give her some confidence to have a dominate dog friend in her "pack". Lots of verbal praise.
I am sure that the previous post of that socio-path horse was a little beyond what most people experience in their pet. Many who are kind and generous enough to adopt an older pet from a shelter may find they have a few disorders to overcome.
Shelters do our pets a great service. They care for and place literally hundreds of thousands of dogs and cats in a year. They have little money and lots of love. There is always a reason the pet ended up at the shelter. You may be able to discover and overcome that reason.
A little story, diagnosis, and treatment solution.
Kia was a 4-timer. She had been adopted and returned to the shelter 4 times. It was not a "no-kill" shelter, so it was looking bad for her. Time was running out.
She was a black Lab of some kind, about 75 pounds. Really nothing particularly outstanding about her. 2 years old sporting a standard Lab coat. You may have walked right past her cage. Many did.
Her story, sketchy and missing a lot of detail did tell me some things I needed to know. What was the reasons she had been returned? All four returns said the same thing-"ran away". I guess nothing could hold her- no fence, leash, rope, could keep her from running. What was she running to? Or, from?
Her first owner had been a handicapped person. She had gone through training as a companion dog. This training is difficult and stressful for the dog. Those few who make it to graduation are solid, dependable dogs. So, running away poses a big question. Or provides a big answer. Off to the shelter for her first time.
Second and third owners couldn't keep her in check. Ran away constantly. When found, she was brought back to them, but eventually they both gave up. I never met them, but I met (and now adopted) her. I can say she was filled with fear. Every loud noise, anything that looked like a weapon (such as a rawhide stick) would send her diving for the ground. Kind and sweet, she was never aggressive, but just tried to avoid any conflicts. Running away FROM?
I found quickly that if she did anything I did not approve of, I could not even raise my voice. I said "no", almost in a whisper. That was all it took. She never was a calm, relaxed dog, but lived to be 16, always on edge.
DIAGNOSIS: Generalized Anxiety Disorder
TREATMENT: Keep stress low or non-existent, if possible. Patience, patience, patience! Routines help because there is predictability. She did very well with a dog companion- it seemed to give her some confidence to have a dominate dog friend in her "pack". Lots of verbal praise.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
PATHOLOGY
Does human psychology really translate to animals?
Yes it does.
A little story, a diagnosis and a treatment solution:
He went by "Smoking Gun" when he was on the circuit. The second-rate, small-town rodeo circuit. A massive, all-black grade (mixed breed) gelding stood looking at me from a safe distance. He had gained muscle, scars and fears unknown while he was a bucking horse. That was years ago, but all of these things stayed with him, especially the fears. He was a survivor, he took care of himself. No human had ever done him any good.
His new owner called him "Smokey". (I advise against this-keeping any part of the old name when you get an animal from a potentially abusive background. If you think they won't come when they are called, or won't know who you are talking to-WRONG. They know. Any reminder of the bad old days should be done away with immediately). She was a patient, kind woman who wanted to rescue this dangerous horse.
Smoky had been asked to leave his old place of residence because he almost killed a man who went into his stall at night, when the lights were dim. It was an accident. The man mistook him for another black horse. Until Smoky turned to him and tried, with every bit of his 1300-pound body, to kill this intruder. That's how he ended up at my farm.
We looked each other over. He had no use for me, but assessed quickly I was of no particular threat to him. The handlers and bucking riders at the rodeo were men (yes, animals determine gender and make a value judgment about it), and I was a small woman. I moved slowly and deliberately, making sure he knew I was safe. Safe is one thing-trusted is another.
He size and presence took my breath away. What had I agreed to? He was more of a challenge than I would have ever recommended to anyone. Even myself.
I tried to place him in the pasture with my very most tolerant, kind, non-aggressive horse. It was a disaster. Apparently, he did not like any other horses, either. No social contact whatsoever.
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Let me say here that no one can blame this horse for his attitude. We know that abuse can cause humans to become antisocial as well. But the reality is this: We must adapt and survive. His survival depended on his eventual willingness to trust again and his owner's patience and persistence.
TREATMENT:
Build a rapport. Take time to get close to this horse emotionally as well as physically. It could take years, if ever. Be prepared for relapses. Will trust ever be complete between this horse and owner? I don't really know.
RESULT: He progressed slowly and, after years, she was able to ride him on the trail. If another horse came near, it was a problem. There were many problems, but I think she was pleased with thr results.
Yes it does.
A little story, a diagnosis and a treatment solution:
He went by "Smoking Gun" when he was on the circuit. The second-rate, small-town rodeo circuit. A massive, all-black grade (mixed breed) gelding stood looking at me from a safe distance. He had gained muscle, scars and fears unknown while he was a bucking horse. That was years ago, but all of these things stayed with him, especially the fears. He was a survivor, he took care of himself. No human had ever done him any good.
His new owner called him "Smokey". (I advise against this-keeping any part of the old name when you get an animal from a potentially abusive background. If you think they won't come when they are called, or won't know who you are talking to-WRONG. They know. Any reminder of the bad old days should be done away with immediately). She was a patient, kind woman who wanted to rescue this dangerous horse.
Smoky had been asked to leave his old place of residence because he almost killed a man who went into his stall at night, when the lights were dim. It was an accident. The man mistook him for another black horse. Until Smoky turned to him and tried, with every bit of his 1300-pound body, to kill this intruder. That's how he ended up at my farm.
We looked each other over. He had no use for me, but assessed quickly I was of no particular threat to him. The handlers and bucking riders at the rodeo were men (yes, animals determine gender and make a value judgment about it), and I was a small woman. I moved slowly and deliberately, making sure he knew I was safe. Safe is one thing-trusted is another.
He size and presence took my breath away. What had I agreed to? He was more of a challenge than I would have ever recommended to anyone. Even myself.
I tried to place him in the pasture with my very most tolerant, kind, non-aggressive horse. It was a disaster. Apparently, he did not like any other horses, either. No social contact whatsoever.
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Let me say here that no one can blame this horse for his attitude. We know that abuse can cause humans to become antisocial as well. But the reality is this: We must adapt and survive. His survival depended on his eventual willingness to trust again and his owner's patience and persistence.
TREATMENT:
Build a rapport. Take time to get close to this horse emotionally as well as physically. It could take years, if ever. Be prepared for relapses. Will trust ever be complete between this horse and owner? I don't really know.
RESULT: He progressed slowly and, after years, she was able to ride him on the trail. If another horse came near, it was a problem. There were many problems, but I think she was pleased with thr results.
Friday, January 1, 2010
sandy
WELCOME to the "ark"
I am a therapist for humans, but have analyzed animals for people over the years. It will not surprise any animal lovers out there that our animals psyche and our own are deeply intertwined. They can heal us and we can heal them.
There are zillions of great dog and horse trainers out there. Even some good bird trainers. (I haven't heard of any good cat trainers-we'll go into that a bit later). I am not a trainer. I only want to understand why behaviors and illnesses go "off the deep end." With understanding, we can overcome and prosper.
THE HOOK UP
So, what kind of animal should you get?
Most people choose the animal they come home with based on size and length of hair (this does not apply to horses most of the time)
First of all, let's establish the basics about what species of animal fits you the best:
Dogs are like children who never grow up. Always dependent, a little pushy, ego-centric (that is, it's always all about THEM). They will adjust their passion to yours and love time with their person above all else.
Cats are like a good friend that doesn't always want to do what you want to do, but sometimes will. They are independent, self-motivated and can be comforting and fun, but can be fine without you, too. Often they need some alone time.
Horses are like servants. They expect to perform in some way, and relish their work, once they are in the right job. They are like a big mirror into our spirits. If you are nervous, so are they, etc. I have never met a bad horse-it is almost always "pilot error".
The rodent animals (guinea pigs, hamsters, rabbits, etc.) can be every bit as attached and responsive to their person as a dog is. They are like babies-very dependent, timid and are soothed by resting in their person's arms.
Good start for finding the animal that matches up with you.
I am a therapist for humans, but have analyzed animals for people over the years. It will not surprise any animal lovers out there that our animals psyche and our own are deeply intertwined. They can heal us and we can heal them.
There are zillions of great dog and horse trainers out there. Even some good bird trainers. (I haven't heard of any good cat trainers-we'll go into that a bit later). I am not a trainer. I only want to understand why behaviors and illnesses go "off the deep end." With understanding, we can overcome and prosper.
THE HOOK UP
So, what kind of animal should you get?
Most people choose the animal they come home with based on size and length of hair (this does not apply to horses most of the time)
First of all, let's establish the basics about what species of animal fits you the best:
Dogs are like children who never grow up. Always dependent, a little pushy, ego-centric (that is, it's always all about THEM). They will adjust their passion to yours and love time with their person above all else.
Cats are like a good friend that doesn't always want to do what you want to do, but sometimes will. They are independent, self-motivated and can be comforting and fun, but can be fine without you, too. Often they need some alone time.
Horses are like servants. They expect to perform in some way, and relish their work, once they are in the right job. They are like a big mirror into our spirits. If you are nervous, so are they, etc. I have never met a bad horse-it is almost always "pilot error".
The rodent animals (guinea pigs, hamsters, rabbits, etc.) can be every bit as attached and responsive to their person as a dog is. They are like babies-very dependent, timid and are soothed by resting in their person's arms.
Good start for finding the animal that matches up with you.
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