THE HEART OF THE MATTER

A few blogs ago, I told the story of my own introspection about how I had not really invited Roscoe in- into my life or our family. I made a vow to fix that. I am here to report that it has worked! That has caused more introspection...

I have decided that it was all hinging on Roscoe needing to feel as though he really mattered to someone. He had decided a while ago that it mattered to him that he was wanted. He was patient, he just waited until he was.

We all want to feel as though we matter. I see it all the time in counseling with couples and families. What couples describe as "falling out of love" really is they have stopped feeling as if they matter to their spouse. Kids often do not feel as though they matter to their parents. People get all tangled up n the day-to-day goings on of their lives, just as I did when I walked right by the anticipating kitten who turned into a cat while he waited for me to turn towards him. I do not ever walk by him now without a few words, scratching and a kiss. I have found that he simply LOVES getting brushed.

That is all that it took. Just feeling that he mattered to me. He comes downstairs and watches TV with us, jumps up on the place where I keep his brush. He actually meows, loudly, for me his daily brushing. He feels that he can demand it, and that he matters enough to me that I will give him the attention he craves.

It is the silent ones who are saddest to me. They don't feel that they even have the right to ask for what they need. Perhaps cats are the last ones to decide that a person matters to them. Dogs are the ones who are born knowing that their entire life is wrapped up in a person- good or bad. It isn't enough to be loved. "I love you, but I don't really care that you need some time from me right now." You can be loved, but perhaps you don't matter enough to that person for them to change their own plans or busy-ness to include you or your needs.

I think I saw it in a movie once. "I'm just trying to matter." Thank you, Roscoe for teaching me such an important lesson. You really do matter to me.