MOVE IN DAY

So that new pet has chosen you and it is move in day.
It's a lot like if you were to be joining a new firm or a new fraternity or family. The animal is usually (depending on age- the younger, the more oblivious to the change) a little nervous and displaced, at least. Bonding has begun already, and the first thing a pet looks for is the "alpha person" in the household.
Animals survive best in groups. You and/or your family is their new group. They look for the leader of the pack. A fast way to make your furry friend feel uncomfortable is to abdicate leadership. They will eventually take it, but knowing all the while that someone else should be the pack leader. This only makes them feel insecure.

NO RULES, JUST RIGHT?

Sorry, boundaries are called for here. I see so many children and adolescents whose parents have chosen NOT to have rules (doing nothing is doing something) and that throws the poor kid into chaos. Same with Fido, Fluffy and Trigger. Boundaries make for clarity. Don't we all crave clarity?
You don't have to be mean or even a disciplinarian. Just CONFIDENT, CONSISTENT and FIRM (wish there was another "c" word meaning firm).

CONFIDENT- this is best attained by deciding exactly what the rules will be and discuss them with the family. I don't care what the rules are, but have guidelines so everybody knows what the expectations are, including the pet.
CONSISTENT- Maybe the most important thing. You can get your pet to do anything if you are consistent. Pavlov (remember the salivating dogs that Dr. Pavlov used to test his theory of "classic conditioning"? Every time he rang a bell, a small amount of food would drop down. So, every time the bell rang, the dogs would salivate- it works pretty well on people, too) discovered that even after he stopped feeding the dogs with the bell ringing first, they still salivated. So, if you are trying to keep your dog from jumping, and sometimes you allow it, even if you go ballistic sometimes, they will still think it just might be OK this time. Keep in mind those times when you are wearing your good pants, or someone comes over to visit. You must plan for those times.
FIRM- Whatever your chosen answer is for the undesired behavior (say a squirt of water for the cat on the counter top) go with it every time. Don't rationalize for them. They must know that every time they do (whatever) it will be received by the same discipline. Sometimes just a disparaging word works well. Every animal is different, so you will have to do a little trial by error. Start with the least aggressive amount of discipline. I start with "NO!" I had to change that to ,"no..." with Suki. She was so sensitive. Some need a bit more. But if you are confident, they will listen.
Confidence is a mental state. We'll talk about that next.

Once you have your boundaries, you are consistent and firm, settle in for the fun part- building rapport.
The first day is always a LOW-KEY day. Depending on the animal, age, temperament, I may not even allow anyone over to meet the new dog, cat or horse until the animal feels comfortable in their new space and they determine who is the alpha person (the person EVERYONE in the family takes orders from). Then sitting and getting petted or stroked, a few treats or anything that lets the "new guy" know that they are in friendly territory. It can take just a short time.
Children, while enthusiastic, can be too much for the new pet to cope with. Here's where the parent (hopefully the alpha person!) takes charge and allows the four-footed child and the 2-footed child to get to know each other slowly and quietly.

Take your time and get to know each other. This is not a 60-second date. This is the beginning of a life-long friendship. Relax into it.