BUILDING A BOND critical thing #1

I have skipped around this VITAL issue in the posts describing pathology. It is the ONE THING that goes wrong the most frequently in all animal-person relationships.

Stories work best for me, so here are a few:

Alice was a feral cat. That is, wild. Cats born feral usually stay wild. Most reputable shelters will not try to domesticate feral cats for adoption. If caught young enough, before the mother can imprint on them the wild ways, they are fine. But by the time they are an adoptable age (8-12 weeks old) they are feral. As simple as that.
Alice came to me via my vet. She had been born and caught in his barn. He spayed her and gave her appropriate shots and found me to take her in. She was approximately 12 weeks old. I tried to keep her in my barn, but made the fatal (figuratively and literally) mistake of trying to get close to her. I later learned that if people get too close, even a little, it compromises that cat's ability to survive in the wild. There are countless predators and dangers out there, and if the cat's senses are dulled or relaxed, she will not survive.
There are many coyotes where I live. I finally decided that Alice must move inside if she were to live. Now I had totally messed it up. She was over a year old, not really domesticated, but lulled into a false sense of security and she was moving into our house.
She never learned to use the litter box. My own fault. I just never got any new carpet until her life was over (many years later). She would sit next to me and allow me to pet her, but we were never able to bond the way people and their cat should.

BOUNDARIES, PLEASE!

Ever meet that small, yappy dog on a short leash that won't shut up? They are screaming over and over, "I want someone to take charge here!" Their owner has not yet given them the leadership they crave. They know they are small, and because the owner has not yet become the Master, they are taking charge. Many, many of my clients are dogs who have no leader.
I know, you want them to love you as much as you love them. THEN GIVE THEM WHAT THEY REALLY WANT! Boundaries.
I had a next-door neighbor who loved her poodle so much that he wouldn't eat anything but a steak purchased from a restaurant. (apparently she was a bad cook).
I knew a couple who just HAD to feed their dog, while he sat on their lap, with a spoon.
My son's friend had a dog that would bolt out of the front door if it were opened even a crack.
Wild barking, aggressiveness, chewing, running away, pretty much all unacceptable behaviors can be traced back to inappropriate bonding.

THE HORSE USED TO BE SO WELL TRAINED

There are loads of behaviors in horses that stem from poor bonding. Many horses are "barn sour" (that is, try aggressively to run madly towards home, sometimes after dumping their rider). Some horses cannot be trusted not to bite or kick.
I knew a woman who wanted a horse for most of her life. She finally was in a position to get one. She selected a very well trained, quiet and lovely Appaloosa gelding. It should have been a match made in heaven. It turned out to be hell.
Every time she rode him, she "trained" him to do another bad behavior. If he stopped randomly, she would pat him and give him verbal praise (??). Pretty soon he wouldn't go at all. When she was in her lesson with him and the trainer insisted she use a crop (a small whip), he "pinned" his ears (body language that means, "I am really angry") and threw a fit. What happened to all of that professional training?

I will explore HOW to bond with your dog, cat and horse and establish yourself as the authority figure next time...